i force myself to write something

ever since I finished my last exam I wanted to wrote something here. Too many things.
Too many needed to be spilled out.
But I kept procrastinate. and here I am a month and one week extra after my last paper.
Alhamdulillah, I pass my degree with Honor. No words to explain. None of it was me. It was all from Allah. I did not want to take any credit from it, because I thought I was going to be screwed.

Next, all of us (kahfian) move out from kahfi (our house name) and move into a new kahfi. my parents freak out knowing that I wanted to start a business. Alhamdulillah, that was the story of a few weeks ago. Now, they seem to be soften by my determination. however they give me one year. If my business is not okay they force me to find some job to do. (insya Allah one year is enough to prove it)

I still remember the following day after my exam I was sitting in the computer room in the engineering building and I was looking at the sky.

It was ocean blue and beautiful. Suddenly I nearly burst into tears. Because at that time I was thinking

"what am I still doing here?"

I wanted to see the sky from other places. Probably could be the same thing I'm seeing from here but the feeling is different. I wanted to travel. I wanted to be all over places in the world. I wanted to be free. I wanted more time to do what I wanted.

Well, probably one day. Probably in Jannah. But I still put those dreams in my 101 wishlist to do.

*well this was just random thoughts. I know that this path (dakwah n tarbiyyah) is shaping me to be free from being selfish and think what is more muntij to do right now.

*nantikan post seterusnya.......

last exam!

i don't know what to feel.

ya Allah make it easy for us.

yang penting bukan exam nie pun, tapi WHAT IS NEXT?

during 10 minutes of break

aku dah jumpa cara study yg effective, tapi tak tau lah kalau nie applicable kepada aku sahaja.

final sem of final year baru aku jumpa cara study yg okay  =.="

aku nie jenis yg senang distracted and sgt susah nak focus. maybe sbb banyak dosa.

so aku dah berazam kali nie mmg nak buat betul2. so aku pun try lah untuk buat 30 minutes study pastu 10 minutes break. disebabkan aku senang distracted nak ingat kan diri sendiri yg kena focus, aku letak timer kat depan aku. so that bila aku rasa nak buat benda lain aku ternampak timer tak habis lagi 30 minutes, aku kena tunggu break baru boleh buat benda lain. timer aku nie, habis je 30 minutes akan berbunyi menandakan aku boleh berehat. and disebabkan nak habiskan tilawah &tadabbur aku pun target every time break je mesti kena baca at least 10 ayat AQ, kalau lebih lagi bagus. so kalau belajar 2 jam, akan ada 4 break, 40 ayat at least aku akan habis baca. hehehe.. alhamdulillah, for now that seems work.

hope this help to those yg tgh exam.

let the past be the past

ice age 2

kita selalu bersedih dengan perkara yg dah berlaku dan khawatir dengan masa depan.

"barang siapa yang mengikuti petunjuk Ku nescaya tidak ada kekhuatiran atas mereka dan tidak pula mereka bersedih hati" (2:38)

I miss my mama

padahal baru je jumpe semalam.

baca blog ramai org yg diuji begitu hebat, ada yg parents sakit, ada yg parent dah 'pergi'

I can't imagine if it is me..

Selalu tertanya2 "Ya Allah, kau dah bagi rasa sayang ni pada family dalam hati aku, kenapa kau pisahkan kami?" I mean kita tak boleh jumpa setiap hari. Parents kena kerja keras cari duit, anak2 kena pergi belajar. habis belajar kena kerja, pastu kahwin.

okay aku tak persoalkan and rebel. aku sedang cuba utk reda, tapi yelah kita kena berfikir y? mesti ada sebab. And I know reasonnya mesti reasonable.

ingat lagi sampai je rumah hari selasa tu, mama kata " kenapa lama tak balik, mama rindu tau" OMG, sebaknya tak tau nak cakap macam mana.

pastu mama siap post status dekat fb yg dia gembira aku balik. betul lah parents just nak anak dia ada depan mata.

*I'm crying while typing this* cannot continue..

moga Allah permudahkan esok jawab exam.

exam!! kill this exam..

skrg tgh study..yeah..obviously..ya Allah rasa terkapai2 sgt nie. makin nak habis degree makin teruk rasanya diri nie. mmg semua kekuatan hanya dari Allah.. moga Allah tetap akan memilih diri ini untuk terus tsabat dalam jalan nie. walaupun kalau tgk diri sendiri selalu tertanya2 "ya Allah apa agaknya kritiria org2 yg dipilih ni?" sbb aku rasa aku tak layak langsung utk terus berada di jalan DnT nie. tapi tak nak Allah memilih org lain. tannak Allah mengantikan dengan org lain. T.T 

kalau tak buat betul2 dan sungguh2 Allah boleh je hired org lain. (T.T) 1000x...

pape pun terasa sgt stress sbb esok ada exam. and while studying found this caption. " Are microbes out of this world?"  

Well what I know for sure is; we are.

We are from jannah!

another funny things I found while searching: 'how to study last minutes' through Google.

I know, how pathetic is is right?! but see how this blog is so positive in giving support.
Thanks bro!

A cup of coffee beside the lake

Alhamdulillah... Struggling now for thesis. A quick break beside the lake. Wish in jannah I can have this moment forever.