ape yang aku rasa

dulu mase mula2 masuk tarbiyah aku juz fikir cmne nak dekatkan diri dgn Allah. Buat macam2 perkara sunat, berubah dgn drastik sbb nak rasa dekat dgn Allah yg sgt tinggi.

bile masuk first year, aku sedar banyak benda dalam hati aku yg tak settle lagi. contohnya macam ego, riya', takbur dan lain2 masalah (actually sekarang pun tak tahu dah settle ke belum).

This year is very different, aku dapat rasakan kalau nak bergerak dalam gerabak tarbiyah nie mesti sentiasa kena buat lebih. dah tak boleh nak buat sekdar termampu kena sentiasa buat yg lebih.

sbb dulu selalu kalau tgk video palestine dan negara2 islam lain yg diseksa dan ditindas mesti nangis dan rasa "aku nangis nie pun dah cukup, sbb aku masih ada iman, (mase tu lah)"

tapi bile dah lama2 kite sendiri akan rasa kot yg tak cukup dgn nangis je, ape nangis nie boleh buat, ape nangis nie boleh ubah?

contoh lain,

solat sunat buat yg kite rasa nak dan sempat je

tapi sekarang dah tak boleh macam tu, sbb kalau tak buat lebih rasa something is just wrong. Lagi2 daie hubungan dgn Allah kena strong baru boleh face masyarakat.  

aku tgk citer Snow white and huntsman haritu kat rumah dgn adik aku.

dan ahli sihir dalam citer tu kata (lebih kuranglah)

"This magic demand higher price every time I used it"

maksudnya permintaan sihir tu akan bertambah in order kalau ahli sihir tu nak maintain beauty dia.

rasanya boleh nak kaitkan dgn iman.

iman nie kan sgt mahal, dan in order nak maitain iman pun kena ada demand and price jugak.

dan sebenarnya sgt banyak yg kite kena korbankan in order utk dapat iman yg teguh dan setiap kali selepas ujian akan datang ujian yg lebih berat dan lebih mahal harganya untuk dapat iman yang lebih hebat.

yelah balasan utk iman adalah syurga beb! mestilah mahal.

*bnyk benda nak buat tapi tak terbuat -.-*

kenangan

sejak kebelakangan nie aku selalu cam mengimbau kembali waktu aku kecik2 dulu.

camne aku selalu main dgn adik2 aku tanpa perlu risaukan masalah dunia.

bagi aku dunia hanya terbatas dalam family aku je.

ya, aku rindu saat itu,

saat fikiranku tak sarat dgn masalah yang membebankan

saat gembira belaka.

sekarang tidak lagi.

dan aku tidak tahu apakah di syurga aku bisa bergembira lagi sebeitu bersama org yang sama?

ataupun kita semua akan terpisah dgn tingkatan syurga neraka.

tak dapat nak bayangkan satu saat yang selamanya mungkin tak dapat berjumpa.


“Wahai orang-orang beriman, selamatkanlah dirimu dan keluargamu dari Neraka,
sedangkan bahan bakarnya adalah manusia dan batu. Neraka itu dijaga oleh malaikatmalaikat yang kasar dan keras. Mereka sama sekali tidak pernah durhaka pada Allah dan
melaksanakan apa saja yang diperintahkan pada mereka” (66:6)


P/S:Apa yang sudah kita lakukan hari ini untuk persediaan kita akan berjumpa dgn Allah satu hari nanti?

al-asr

kerja yang kita kena buat lebih banyak daripada masa yang kita ada

and I realized...

Tarbiyah had thought me alot =)

kota pariaman is not just beauty it is a magical city

Assalamualaikum wbt people  =)

It has been a few days since I came back from a very beautiful city Kota Pariaman, padang Indonesia.

Yup, people ask me : "why do u guys went there?"

Jealous huh?

Haha.. kidding..

We went there under Malaysian Young Humanitarian as a volunteer.

I don't know how to describe the amazingness of 5 days I was there.
And how to thank Allah that has put unlimited blessings to us.
And I really hope our 'good deeds' doing things because of Allah is accepted.

I learn so many things there which I only realized after having a chat with my roommate <3

Probably ordinary people when they do volunteering job the only thing they wanted in return is the smile of the people they helped. Or probably a warm 'thank you' words in return. Or probably how the people they helped wave sincerely to them.

I don't know.

When I did this job, I didn't want all of those things. I didn't expect a good welcoming like a prince or princess ceremony (which what we experience in pariaman).

What I want is different.

Let me tell u a story of someone.

His name is ustaz syah.

He is blind. but not 3 months ago.

He helped us under education team went from school to school.

We went to primary school. The condition of the school was pretty sad. But yet they survived. That is why I admire them. They may not have the technology that we have today but they are creative and so talented.

Mainly we play games with the students and boost their self esteem and do some tazkirah from ustaz syah.

I was actually shamed of myself. I join usrah, and people who get this tarbiyah is suppose to be great people. But when I went to kota pariaman I realized I'm no one. I give nothing to people and I didn't give any good impact to the place I left.

But ustaz syah who is blind manage to left some pearl to the place with his words that will eventually reminds us back to Allah.

We, who is young, strong and has no disability can't even manage to remind ourselves about Allah.

I admit I almost slipped with the people who doesn't see Allah is our purpose of life. 

I feel pity for those spectacular people in this mission who doesn't get tarbiyah . Because I know if they did, this world could be so much different because they do things not for themselves. They are willing to sacrifice money and time for other people. That is exactly what islam is.

The most pathetic thing was I didn't do anything when I saw this.

 The other volunteers are so kind and funny. Almost all the time they do extremely funny jokes that I never heard as a student at nottingham. It was happy moment. So much laughter and so much smiles among us. But yet I realized those smiles and laughter are not forever. They didn't last. Why are we friends for? For this mission? Or because of Allah?
We know that after life even friends can be foes and the people who survive this is only when we do something because of  Allah.

That is why sometimes only hardship can bond the relationship of people tightly not joy-able time. 

I also realized humans always find ways to get happiness and peace by laughter and entertainment. But it doesn't last. and I feel that.

I feel the different when I am with people who doesn't get tarbiyah and people who gets the tarbiyah. 

We think differently,we see things differently.

And by that only 2 simple things make us different.

And that is how tarbiyah works.

I admit I miss daurah and usrah. Nope, I miss the people in daurah and usrah.

Yes. This mission has taught me a lot. Probably not so much of what I do. You know volunteering things people always tell stories about what they do and experience they got.

But not to me. I meant to write something different, because I see things differently.

Alhamdulillah~~

Pictures sometimes tell stories

talented

we are riding this from school to school

ustaz syah

 P/s: benda yg paling terkesan dalam kursus kesukarelaan adalah bile ade fasi yg kata
"kau kate kau ustaz, pung pang pung pang sebarkan dakwah tapi pernah tak kau gi ziarah rumah anak yatim?"
padahal kan banyak kali Allah kata dalam Al-Quran layan anak-anak yatim dengan baik dan org yang tak layan mereka dengan baik akan diazab.